Burglar Who Smelled Smoke Read online

  "This is awfully nice of you," I said. "But you should have brought a second cup so you could join me."

  "I've had too much coffee already," she said. "But I could keep you company for a few minutes if you don't mind."

  "I'd like that."

  "So would I," she said, skirting my chair and sitting on the edge of the narrow captain's bed. "I don't get much company. The people in the village keep their distance. And Karl has his books."

  "And he's locked away with them..."

  "Three hours in the morning and four in the afternoon. Then in the evening he deals with correspondence and returns phone calls. He's retired, as you know, but he has investment decisions to make and business matters to deal with. And books, of course. He's always buying more of them." She sighed. "I'm afraid he doesn't have much time left for me."

  "It must be difficult for you."

  "It's lonely," she said.

  "I can imagine."

  "We have so little in common," she said. "I sometimes wonder why he married me. The books are his whole life."

  "And they don't interest you at all?"

  She shook her head. "I haven't the brain for it," she said. "Clues and timetables and elaborate murder methods. It is like working a crossword puzzle without a pencil. Or worse-like assembling a jigsaw puzzle in the dark."

  "With gloves on," I suggested.

  "Oh, that's funny!" She laughed more than the line warranted and laid a hand on my arm. "But I should not make jokes about the books. You are a bookseller yourself. Perhaps books are your whole life, too."

  "Not my whole life," I said.

  "Oh? What else interests you?"

  "Beautiful women," I said recklessly.

  "Beautiful women?"

  "Like you," I said.

  Believe me, I hadn't planned on any of this. I'd figured on finishing the Lovesey story, then curling up with the Healy book until Karl Bellermann emerged from his lair, saw his shadow, and paid me a lot of money for the book he thought I had stolen.

  In point of fact, the Fer-de-Lance I'd brought him was legitimately mine to sell-or very nearly so. I would never have entertained the notion of breaking into Nizar Gulbenkian's fieldstone house in Riverdale. Gulbenkian was a friend as well as a valued customer, and I'd rushed to call him when I learned of his loss. I would keep an ear cocked and an eye open, I assured him, and I would let him know if any of his treasures turned up on the gray or black market.

  "That's kind of you, Bernie," he'd said. "We will have to talk of this one day."

  And, months later, we talked-and I learned there had been no burglary. Gulbenkian had gouged his own front door with a chisel, looted his own well-insured library of its greatest treasures, and tucked them out of sight (if not out of mind) before reporting the offense-and pocketing the payoff from the insurance company.

  He'd needed money, of course, and this had seemed a good way to get it without parting with his precious volumes. But now he needed more money, as one so often does, and he had a carton full of books he no longer legally owned and could not even show off to his friends, let alone display to the public. He couldn't offer them for sale, either, but someone else could. Someone who might be presumed to have stolen them. Someone rather like me.

  "It will be the simplest thing in the world for you, Bernie," old Nizar said. "You won't have to do any breaking or entering. You won't even have to come to Riverdale. All you'll do is sell the books, and I will gladly pay you ten percent of the proceeds."

  "Half," I said.

  We settled on a third, after protracted negotiations, and later over drinks he allowed that he'd have gone as high as forty percent, while I admitted I'd have taken twenty. He brought me the books, and I knew which one to offer first, and to whom.

  The FDR Fer-de-Lance was the prize of the lot, and the most readily identifiable. Karl Bellermann was likely to pay the highest price for it, and to be most sanguine about its unorthodox provenance.

  You hear it said of a man now and then that he'd rather steal a dollar than earn ten. (It's been said, not entirely without justification, of me.) Karl Bellermann was a man who'd rather buy a stolen book for a thousand dollars than pay half that through legitimate channels. I'd sold him things in the past, some stolen, some not, and it was the volume with a dubious history that really got him going.

  So, as far as he was concerned, I'd lifted Fer-de-Lance from its rightful owner, who would turn purple if he knew where it was. But I knew better-Gulbenkian would cheerfully pocket two-thirds of whatever I pried out of Bellermann, and would know exactly where the book had wound up and just how it got there.

  In a sense, then, I was putting one over on Karl Bellermann, but that didn't constitute a breach of my admittedly elastic moral code. It was something else entirely, though, to abuse the man's hospitality by putting the moves on his gorgeous young wife.

  Well, what can I say? Nobody's perfect.

  Afterward I lay back with my head on a pillow and tried to figure out what would make a man choose a leather chair and room full of books over a comfortable bed with a hot blonde in it. I marveled at the vagaries of human nature, and Eva stroked my chest and urged a cup of coffee on me.

  It was great coffee, and no less welcome after our little interlude. The cookies were good, too. Eva took one, but passed on the coffee. If she drank it after lunchtime, she said, she had trouble sleeping nights.

  "It never keeps me awake," I said. "In fact, this stuff seems to be having just the opposite effect. The more I drink, the sleepier I get."

  "Maybe it is I who have made you sleepy."

  "Could be."

  She snuggled close, letting interesting parts of her body press against mine. "Perhaps we should close our eyes for a few minutes," she said.

  The next thing I knew she had a hand on my shoulder and was shaking me awake. "Bernie," she said. "We fell asleep!"

  "We did?"

  "And look at the time! It is almost six o'clock. Karl will be coming out of the library any minute."

  "Uh-oh."

  She was out of bed, diving into her clothes. "I'll go downstairs," she said. "You can take your time dressing, as long as we are not together." And, before I could say anything, she swept out of the room.

  I had the urge to close my eyes and drift right off again. Instead I forced myself out of bed, took a quick shower to clear the cobwebs, then got dressed. I stood for a moment at the head of the stairs, listening for conversation and hoping I wouldn't hear any voices raised in anger. I didn't hear any voices, angry or otherwise, or anything else.

  It's quiet out there, I thought, like so many supporting characters in so many Westerns. And the thought came back, as it had from so many heroes in those same Westerns: Yeah... too quiet.

  I descended the flight of stairs, turned a corner and bumped into Eva. "He hasn't come out," she said. "Bernie, I'm worried."

  "Maybe he lost track of the time."

  "Never. He's like a Swiss watch, and he has a Swiss watch and checks it constantly. He comes out every day at six on the dot. It is ten minutes past the hour and where is he?"

  "Maybe he came out and-"

  "Yes?"

  "I don't know. Drove into town to buy a paper."

  "He never does that. And the car is in the garage."

  "He could have gone for a walk."

  "He hates to walk. Bernie, he is still in there."

  "Well, I suppose he's got the right. It's his room and his books. If he wants to hang around-"

  "I'm afraid something has happened to him. Bernie, I knocked on the door. I knocked loud. Perhaps you heard the sound upstairs?"

  "No, but I probably wouldn't. I was all the way upstairs, and I had the shower on for a while there. I take it he didn't answer."

  "No."

  "Well, I gather it's pretty well soundproofed in there. Maybe he didn't hear you."

  "I have knocked before. And he has heard me before."

  "Maybe he heard you this time and decided to ignore
you." Why was I raising so many objections? Perhaps because I didn't want to let myself think there was any great cause for alarm.

  "Bernie," she said, "what if he is ill? What if he has had a heart attack?"

  "I suppose it's possible, but-"

  "I think I should call the police."

  I suppose it's my special perspective, but I almost never think that's a great idea. I wasn't mad about it now, either, being in the possession of stolen property and a criminal record, not to mention the guilty conscience that I'd earned a couple of hours ago in the upstairs guest room.

  "Not the police," I said. "Not yet. First let's make sure he's not just taking a nap, or all caught up in his reading."

  "But how? The door is locked."

  "Isn't there an extra key?"

  "If there is, he's never told me where he keeps it. He's the only one with access to his precious books."

  "The window," I said.

  "It can't be opened. It is this triple pane of bulletproof glass, and-"

  "And you couldn't budge it with a battering ram," I said. "He told me all about it. You can still see through it, though, can't you?"

  "He's in there," I announced. "At least his feet are."

  "His feet?"

  "There's a big leather chair with its back to the window," I said, "and he's sitting in it. I can't see the rest of him, but I can see his feet."

  "What are they doing?"

  "They're sticking out in front of the chair," I said, "and they're wearing shoes, and that's about it. Feet aren't terribly expressive, are they?"

  I made a fist and reached up to bang on the window. I don't know what I expected the feet to do in response, but they stayed right where they were.

  "The police," Eva said. "I'd better call them."

  "Not just yet," I said.

  The Poulard is a terrific lock, no question about it. State-of-the-art and all that. But I don't know where they get off calling it pickproof. When I first came across the word in one of their ads I knew how Alexander felt when he heard about the Gordian knot. Pickproof, eh? We'll see about that! The lock on the library door put up a good fight, but I'd brought the little set of picks and probes I never leave home without, and I put them (and my God-given talent) to the task.

  And opened the door.

  "Bernie," Eva said, gaping. "Where did you learn how to do that?"

  "In the Boy Scouts," I said. "They give you a merit badge for it if you apply yourself. Karl? Karl, are you all right?"

  He was in his chair, and now we could see more than his well-shod feet. His hands were in his lap, holding a book by William Campbell Gault. His head was back, his eyes closed. He looked for all the world like a man who'd dozed off over a book.

  We stood looking at him, and I took a moment to sniff the air. I'd smelled something on my first visit to this remarkable room, but I couldn't catch a whiff of it now.

  "Bernie-"

  I looked down, scanned the floor, running my eyes over the maroon broadloom and the carpets that covered most of it. I dropped to one knee alongside one small Persian-a Tabriz, if I had to guess, but I know less than a good burglar should about the subject. I took a close look at this one and Eva asked me what I was doing.

  "Just helping out," I said. "Didn't you drop a contact lens?"

  "I don't wear contact lenses."

  "My mistake," I said, and got to my feet. I went over to the big leather chair and went through the formality of laying a hand on Karl Bellermann's brow. It was predictably cool to the touch.

  "Is he-"

  I nodded. "You'd better call the cops," I said.

  Elmer Crittenden, the officer in charge, was a stocky fellow in a khaki windbreaker. He kept glancing warily at the walls of books, as if he feared being called upon to sit down and read them one after the other. My guess is that he'd had less experience with them than with dead bodies.

  "Most likely turn out to be his heart," he said of the deceased. "Usually is when they go like this. He complain any of chest pains? Shooting pains up and down his left arm? Any of that?"

  Eva said he hadn't.

  "Might have had 'em without saying anything," Crittenden said. "Or it could be he didn't get any advance warning. Way he's sitting and all, I'd say it was quick. Could be he closed his eyes for a little nap and died in his sleep."

  "Just so he didn't suffer," Eva said.

  Crittenden lifted Karl's eyelid, squinted, touched the corpse here and there. "What it almost looks like," he said, "is that he was smothered, but I don't suppose some great speckled bird flew in a window and held a pillow over his face. It'll turn out to be a heart attack, unless I miss my guess."

  Could I just let it go? I looked at Crittenden, at Eva, at the sunburst pattern on the high ceiling up above, at the putative Tabriz carpet below. Then I looked at Karl, the consummate bibliophile, with FDR's Fer-de-Lance on the table beside his chair. He was my customer, and he'd died within arm's reach of the book I'd brought him. Should I let him requiescat in relative pace? Or did I have an active role to play?

  "I think you were right," I told Crittenden. "I think he was smothered."

  "What would make you say that, sir? You didn't even get a good look at his eyeballs."

  "I'll trust your eyeballs," I said. "And I don't think it was a great speckled bird that did it, either."

  "Oh?"

  "It's classic," I said, "and it would have appealed to Karl, given his passion for crime fiction. If he had to die, he'd probably have wanted it to happen in a locked room. And not just any locked room, either, but one secured by a pickproof Poulard, with steel-lined walls and windows that don't open."

  "He was locked up tighter than Fort Knox," Crittenden said.

  "He was," I said. "And, all the same, he was murdered."

  "Smothered," I said. "When the lab checks him out, tell them to look for halon gas. I think it'll show up, but not unless they're looking for it."

  "I never heard of it," Crittenden said.

  "Most people haven't," I said. "It was in the news a while ago when they installed it in subway toll booths. There'd been a few incendiary attacks on booth attendants-a spritz of something flammable and they got turned into crispy critters. The halon gas was there to smother a fire before it got started."

  "How's it work?"

  "It displaces the oxygen in the room," I said. "I'm not enough of a scientist to know how it manages it, but the net effect is about the same as that great speckled bird you were talking about. The one with the pillows."

  "That'd be consistent with the physical evidence," Crittenden said. "But how would you get this halon in here?"

  "It was already here," I said. I pointed to the jets on the walls and ceiling. "When I first saw them, I thought Bellermann had put in a conventional sprinkler system, and I couldn't believe it. Water's harder than fire on rare books, and a lot of libraries have been totaled when a sprinkler system went off by accident. I said something to that effect to Karl, and he just about bit my head off, making it clear he wouldn't expose his precious treasures to water damage.

  "So I got the picture. The jets were designed to deliver gas, not liquid, and it went without saying that the gas would be halon. I understand they're equipping the better research libraries with it these days, although Karl's the only person I know of who installed it in his personal library."

  Crittenden was halfway up a ladder, having a look at one of the outlets. "Just like a sprinkler head," he said, "which is what I took it for. How's it know when to go off? Heat sensor?"

  "That's right."

  "You said murder. That'd mean somebody set it off."

  "Yes."

  "By starting a fire in here? Be a neater trick than sending in the great speckled bird."

  "All you'd have to do," I said, "is heat the sensor enough to trigger the response."

  "How?"

  "When I was in here earlier," I said, "I caught a whiff of smoke. It was faint, but it was absolutely there. I think that's what made
me ask Karl about fire in the first place."

  "And?"

  "When Mrs. Bellermann and I came in and discovered the body, the smell was gone. But there was a discolored spot on the carpet that I'd noticed before, and I bent down for a closer look at it." I pointed to the Tabriz (which, now that I think about it, may very well have been an Isfahan). "Right there," I said.