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Rude Awakening (Kit Tolliver #2) (The Kit Tolliver Stories)
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RUDE AWAKENING
LAWRENCE BLOCK
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Copyright © 2013, Lawrence Block
All Rights Reserved
Cover Design: Jayne E. Smith
Ebook Design: JW Manus
She woke up abruptly—click! Like that, no warmup, no transition, no ascent into consciousness out of a dream. She was just all at once awake, brain in gear, all of her senses operating but sight. Her eyes were closed, and she let them remain that way for a moment while she picked up what information her other senses could provide.
She felt the cotton sheet under her, smooth. A good hand, a high thread count. Her host, then, wasn’t a pauper, and had the good taste to equip himself with decent bed linen. She didn’t feel a top sheet, felt only the air on her bare skin. Cool, dry air, air-conditioned air.
Whisper-quiet, too. Probably central air-conditioning, because she couldn’t hear it. She couldn’t hear much, really. A certain amount of city noise, through windows that were no doubt shut to let the central air do its work. But less of it than she’d have heard in her own Manhattan apartment.
And the energy level here was more muted than you would encounter in Manhattan. Hard to say what sense provided this information, and she supposed it was probably some combination of them all, some unconscious synthesis of taste and touch and smell and hearing, that let you know you were in one of the outer boroughs.
Memory filled in the rest. She’d taken the 1 train clear to the end of the line, following Broadway up into the Bronx, and she’d gone to a couple of bars in Riverdale, both of them nice preppy places where the bartenders didn’t look puzzled when you ordered a Dog’s Breakfast or a Sunday Best. And then . . .
Well, that’s where it got a little fuzzy.
She still had taste and smell to consult. Taste, well, the taste in her mouth was the taste of morning, and all it did was make her want to brush her teeth. Smell was more complicated. There would have been more to smell without air conditioning, more to smell if the humidity were higher, but nevertheless there was a good deal of information available. She noted perspiration, male and female, and sex smells.
He was right there, she realized. In the bed beside her. If she reached out a hand she could touch him.
For a moment, though, she let her hand stay where it was, resting on her hip. Eyes still closed, she tried to bring his image into focus, even as she tried to embrace her memory of the later portion of the evening. She didn’t know where she was, not really. She’d managed to figure out that she was in a relatively new apartment building, and she figured it was probably in Riverdale. But she couldn’t be sure of that. He might have had a car, and he might have brought her almost anywhere. Westchester County, say.
Bits and pieces of memory hovered at the edge of thought. Shreds of small talk, but how could she know what was from last night and what was bubbling up from past evenings? Sense impressions: a male voice, a male touch on her upper arm.
She’d recognize him if she opened her eyes. She couldn’t picture him, not quite, but she’d know him when her eyes had a chance to refresh her memory.
Not yet.
She reached out a hand, touched him.
She had just registered the warmth of his skin when he spoke.
“Sleeping beauty,” he said.
Her eyes snapped open, wide open, and her pulse raced.
“Easy,” he said. “My God, you’re terrified, aren’t you? Don’t be. Everything’s all right.”
He was lying on his side facing her. And yes, she recognized him. Dark hair, arresting blue eyes under arched brows, a full-lipped mouth, a strong jawline. His nose had been broken once and imperfectly reset, and that saved him from being male-model handsome.
Early thirties, maybe eight or ten years her senior. A good body. A little chest hair, but not too much. Broad shoulders. A stomach flat enough to show a six-pack of abs.
No wonder she’d left the bar with him.
And she remembered leaving the bar. They’d walked, so she was probably in Riverdale. Unless they’d walked to his car. Could she remember any more?
“You don’t remember, do you?”
Reading her mind. And how was she supposed to answer that one?
She tried for an ironic smile. “I’m a little fuzzy,” she said.
“I’m not surprised.”
“Oh?”
“You were hitting the Cosmos pretty good. I had the feeling, you know, that you might be in a blackout.”
“Really? What did I do?”
“Nothing they’d throw you in jail for.”
“Well, that’s a relief.”
“You didn’t stagger or slur your words, and you were able to form complete sentences. Grammatical ones, too.”
“The nuns would be proud of me.”
“I’m sure they would. Except . . .”
“Except they wouldn’t like to see me waking up in a strange bed.”
“I’m not sure how liberal they’re getting these days,” he said. “That wasn’t what I was going to say.”
“Oh.”
“You didn’t know where you were, did you? When you opened your eyes.”
“Not right away.”
“Do you know now?”
“Well, sure,” she said. “I’m here. With you.”
“Do you know where ‘here’ is? Or who I am?”
Should she make something up? Or would the truth be easier?
“I don’t remember getting in a car,” she said, “and I do remember walking, so my guess is we’re in Riverdale.”
“But it’s a guess.”
“Well, couldn’t we call it an educated guess? Or at least an informed one?”
“Either way,” he said, “it’s right. We walked here, and we’re in Riverdale.”
“So I got that one right. But why wouldn’t the nuns be proud of me?”
“Forget the nuns, okay?”
“They’re forgotten.”
“Look, I don’t want to get preachy. And it’s none of my business. But if you’re drinking enough to leave big gaps in your memory, well, how do you know who you’re going home with?”
Whom, she thought. The nuns wouldn’t be proud of you, buster.
She said, “It worked out all right, didn’t it? I mean, you’re an okay guy. So I guess my judgment was in good enough shape when we hooked up.”
“Or you were lucky.”
“Nothing wrong with getting lucky.”
She grinned as she spoke the line, but he remained serious. “There are a lot of guys out there,” he said, “who aren’t okay. Predators, nut cases, bad guys. If you’d gone home with one of those—”
“But I didn’t.”
“How do you know?”
“How do I know? Well, here we are, both of us, and . . . what do you mean, how do I know?”
“Do you remember my name?”
“I’d probably recognize it if I heard it.”
“Suppose I say three names, and you pick the one that’s mine.”
“What do I get if I’m right?”
“What do you want?”
“A shower.”
This time he grinned. “It’s a deal. Three names? Hmmm. Peter. Harley. Joel.”
“Look into my eyes,” she said, “and say them again. Slowly.”
“What are you, a polygraph? Peter. Harley. Joel.”
“You’re Joel.”
“I’m Peter.”
“Hey, I was close.”
“Two more tries,” he said, “and you’d have had it for sure. You told me your name was Jennifer.”
�
��Well, I got that one right.”
“And you told me to call you Jen.”
“And did you?’
“Did I what?”
“Call me Jen.”
“Of course. I can take direction.”
“Are you an actor?”
“As sure as my name is Joel. Why would you . . . oh, because I said I could take direction? Actually I had my schoolboy ambitions, but by the time I got out of college I smartened up. I work on Wall Street.”
“All the way downtown. What time is it?”
“A little after ten.”
“Don’t you have to be at your desk by nine?”
“Not on Saturday.”
“Oh, right. Uh, Peter . . . or do I call you Pete?”
“Either one.”
“Awkward question coming up. Did we . . .”
“We did,” he said, “and it was memorable for one of us.”
“Oh.”
“I felt a little funny about it, because I had the feeling you weren’t entirely present. But your body was really into it, no matter where your mind was, and, well—”
“We had a good time?”
“A very good time. And, just so that you don’t have to worry, we took precautions.”
“That’s good to know.”
“And then you, uh, passed out.”
“I did?”
“It was a little scary. You just went out like a light. For a minute I thought, I don’t know—”
“That I was dead,” she supplied.
“But you were breathing, so I ruled that out.”
“That keen analytical mind must serve you well on Wall Street.”
“I tried to wake you,” he said, “but you were gone. So I let you sleep. And then I fell asleep myself, and, well, here we are.”
“Naked and unashamed.” She yawned, stretched. “Look,” she said, “I’m going to treat myself to a shower, even if I didn’t win the right in the Name That Stud contest. Don’t go away, okay?”
The bathroom had a window, and one look showed that she was on a high floor, with a river view. She showered, and washed her hair with his shampoo. Then she borrowed his toothbrush and brushed her teeth diligently, and gargled with a little mouthwash.
When she emerged from the bathroom, wrapped in his big yellow towel, the aroma of fresh coffee led her into the kitchen, where he’d just finished filling two cups. He was wearing a white terry robe with a nautical motif, dark blue anchors embroidered on the pockets. His soft leather slippers were wine-colored.
Gifts, she thought. Men didn’t buy those things for themselves, did they?
“I made coffee,” he said.
“So I see.”
“There’s cream and sugar, if you take it.”
“Just black is fine.” She picked up her cup, breathed in the steam that rose from it. “I might live,” she announced. “Do you sail?”
“Sail?”
“The robe. Anchors aweigh and all that.”
“Oh. I suppose I could, because I don’t get seasick or anything. But no, I don’t sail. I have another robe, if you’d be more comfortable.”
“With anchors? Actually I’m comfortable enough like this.”
“Okay.”
“But if I wanted to be even more comfortable . . .” She let the towel drop to the floor, noted with satisfaction the way his eyes widened. “How about you? Wouldn’t you be more comfortable if you got rid of that sailor suit?”
Afterward she propped herself up on an elbow and looked down at him. “I feel much much better now,” she announced.
“The perfect hangover cure?”
“No, the shower and the coffee took care of the hangover. This let me feel better about myself. I mean, the idea of hooking up and not remembering it . . .”
“You’ll remember this, you figure?”
“You bet. What about you, Peter? Will you remember?”
“Till my dying day.”
“I’d better get dressed and head on home.”
“And I can probably use a shower,” he said. “Unless you want to—”
“You go ahead. I’ll have another cup of coffee while you’re in there.”
Her clothes were on the chair, and she dressed quickly, then picked up her purse and checked its contents. She opened the little plastic vial, and counted the little blue pills.
Six of them, which was the same number she’d had at the start of the evening. Six little Roofies, so she hadn’t slipped one into his drink, as she’d planned.
Nor had she fucked up big time and taken Rohypnol herself, which was what she’d begun to suspect. Because she hadn’t been hitting the Cosmos anywhere near hard enough to account for the way the evening had turned out. It would have added up if she’d dosed his drink and then chosen the wrong glass, but she still had all her pills left.
Unless . . .
Oh, Peter, she thought. Peter Peter, pussy eater, what a naughty young man you turned out to be.
She returned the vial of blue pills to her purse and drew out the small glassine envelope instead. It was unopened, and held perhaps half a teaspoonful of a crystalline white substance. Not so fast as Rohypnol, according to her information, but rather more permanent.
She went into the kitchen, poured herself more coffee, and considered what was left in the pot. No, leave it, she thought, and turned her attention to the bottle of vodka on the sinkboard.
He must have fed her the Roofie at the bar. Otherwise she’d remember coming here. But there were two unwashed glasses next to the bottle, so they’d evidently had a nightcap before she lost it completely.
What a shock he’d given her! The touch, the unexpected warmth of his skin. And then his voice.
She hadn’t expected that.
She uncapped the bottle, opened the glassine envelope, poured its contents in with the vodka. The crystals dissolved immediately. She replaced the cap on the bottle, returned the empty envelope to her purse.
She made her cup of coffee last until he was out of the shower and dressed in khakis and a polo shirt, which was evidently what a Wall Street guy wore on the weekend. “I’ll get out of your hair now,” she told him. “And I’m sorry about last night. I’m going to make it a point not to get quite that drunk again.”
“You’ve got nothing to apologize for, Jen. You were running a risk, that’s all. For your own sake—”
“I know.”
“Hang on and I’ll walk you to the subway.”
She shook her head. “Really, there’s no need. I can find it.”
“You’re sure?”
“Positive.”
“If you say so. Uh, can I have your number?”
“You really want it?”
“I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t.”
“Next time I won’t pass out. I promise.”
He handed her a pen and a notepad, and she wrote down her area code, 212, and picked seven digits at random to keep it company. And then they kissed, and he said something sweet, and she said something clever in response, and she was out the door.
The streets were twisty and weird in that part of Riverdale, but she asked directions and somebody pointed her toward the subway. She waited on the elevated platform and thought about how shocked she’d been when she opened her eyes.
Because he was supposed to be dead. That was how it worked, you put the crystals in the guy’s drink and it took effect one or two hours later. After they’d had sex, after he’d dozed off or not. His heart stopped, and that was that.
Usually she’d stay awake herself, and a couple of times she’d been able to watch it happen. Then, when he was gone, she’d go through the apartment at leisure and take what was worth taking.
It worked like a charm. But it only worked if you put the crystals in the guy’s drink, and if you were too drunk to manage that, well, you woke up and there he was.
Bummer.
Sooner or later, she thought, he’d take the cap off the vodka bottle. Today or tomorrow or next
week, whenever he got around to it. And he’d take a drink, and one or two hours later he’d be cooling down to room temperature. She wouldn’t be there to scoop up his cash or go through his dresser drawers, but that was all right. The money wasn’t really the point.
Maybe he’d have some other girl with him. Maybe they’d both have a drink before hitting the mattress, and they could die in each other’s arms. Like Romeo and Juliet, sort of.
Or maybe she’d have a drink and he wouldn’t. That would be kind of interesting, when he tried to explain it all to the cops.
A pity she couldn’t be a fly on the wall. Would she ever find out what happened? Sooner or later, there’d be something in the papers. But by then she could well be a thousand miles away.
Because it felt as though it might be time to get out of New York. She felt at home here, but she had the knack of feeling at home just about anywhere. And a girl didn’t want to overstay her welcome.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
LAWRENCE BLOCK published his first novel in 1958. He has been designated a Grand Master by the Mystery Writers of America, and has received Lifetime Achievement awards from the Crime Writers’ Association (UK), the Private Eye Writers of America, and the Short Mystery Fiction Society. He has won the Nero, Philip Marlowe, Societe 813, and Anthony awards, and is a multiple recipient of the Edgar, the Shamus, and the Japanese Maltese Falcon awards. He and his wife, Lynne, are devout New Yorkers and relentless world travelers.
Email: [email protected]
Twitter: @LawrenceBlock
Blog: LB’s Blog
Facebook: lawrence.block
Website: lawrenceblock.com
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Lawrence Block
Table of Contents
Title Page

Tanner on Ice
Hit Me
Hit and Run
Hope to Die
Two For Tanner
Tanners Virgin
Dead Girl Blues
One Night Stands and Lost Weekends
A Drop of the Hard Stuff
The Canceled Czech
Even the Wicked
Me Tanner, You Jane
Quotidian Keller
Small Town
Tanners Tiger
A Walk Among the Tombstones
Tanners Twelve Swingers
Gym Rat & the Murder Club
Everybody Dies
The Thief Who Couldnt Sleep
Hit Parade
The Devil Knows Youre Dead
The Burglar in Short Order
A Long Line of Dead Men
Keller's Homecoming
Resume Speed
Keller's Adjustment
Eight Million Ways to Die
Time to Murder and Create
Out on the Cutting Edge
A Dance at the Slaughter House
In the Midst of Death
When the Sacred Ginmill Closes
You Could Call It Murder
Keller on the Spot
A Ticket to the Boneyard
A Time to Scatter Stones
Keller's Designated Hitter
A Stab in the Dark
Sins of the Fathers
The Burglar in the Closet
Burglar Who Dropped In On Elvis
The Burglar Who Painted Like Mondrian
The Girl With the Long Green Heart
The Burglar Who Counted the Spoons (Bernie Rhodenbarr)
Burglar Who Smelled Smoke
Rude Awakening (Kit Tolliver #2) (The Kit Tolliver Stories)
Don't Get in the Car (Kit Tolliver #9) (The Kit Tolliver Stories)
CH04 - The Topless Tulip Caper
You Can Call Me Lucky (Kit Tolliver #3) (The Kit Tolliver Stories)
CH02 - Chip Harrison Scores Again
Strangers on a Handball Court
Cleveland in My Dreams
Clean Slate (Kit Tolliver #4) (The Kit Tolliver Stories)
The Burglar Who Traded Ted Williams
Burglar on the Prowl
In For a Penny (A Story From the Dark Side)
Catch and Release Paperback
Ride A White Horse
No Score
Looking for David (A Matthew Scudder Story Book 7)
Jilling (Kit Tolliver #6) (The Kit Tolliver Stories)
Ariel
Enough Rope
Grifter's Game
Canceled Czech
Unfinished Business (Kit Tolliver #12) (The Kit Tolliver Stories)
Thirty
The Burglar Who Thought He Was Bogart
Make Out with Murder
One Last Night at Grogan's (A Matthew Scudder Story Book 11)
The Burglar on the Prowl
Welcome to the Real World (A Story From the Dark Side)
Keller 05 - Hit Me
Walk Among the Tombstones: A Matthew Scudder Crime Novel
Ronald Rabbit Is a Dirty Old Man
The Burglar Who Studied Spinoza
The Burglar Who Liked to Quote Kipling
Keller in Des Moines
Hit List
The Dettweiler Solution
HCC 115 - Borderline
A Drop of the Hard Stuff: A Matthew Scudder Novel
Step by Step
The Girl With the Deep Blue Eyes
If You Can't Stand the Heat (Kit Tolliver #1) (The Kit Tolliver Stories)
The Topless Tulip Caper
Dolly's Trash & Treasures (A Story From the Dark Side)
The Triumph of Evil
Fun with Brady and Angelica (Kit Tolliver #10 (The Kit Tolliver Stories)
Burglars Can't Be Choosers
Who Knows Where It Goes (A Story From the Dark Side)
Deadly Honeymoon
Like a Bone in the Throat (A Story From the Dark Side)
A Chance to Get Even (A Story From the Dark Side)
The Boy Who Disappeared Clouds
Collecting Ackermans
Waitress Wanted (Kit Tolliver #5) (The Kit Tolliver Stories)
One Thousand Dollars a Word
Even the Wicked: A Matthew Scudder Novel (Matthew Scudder Mysteries)
Hit Man
The Night and The Music
Ehrengraf for the Defense
The Merciful Angel of Death (A Matthew Scudder Story Book 5)
The Burglar in the Rye
I Know How to Pick 'Em
Getting Off hcc-69
Three in the Side Pocket (A Story From the Dark Side)
Let's Get Lost (A Matthew Scudder Story Book 8)
Strange Are the Ways of Love
MOSTLY MURDER: Till Death: a mystery anthology
Masters of Noir: Volume Four
A Week as Andrea Benstock
Scenarios (A Stoiry From the Dark Side)
The Sex Therapists: What They Can Do and How They Do It (John Warren Wells on Sexual Behavior Book 15)
Like a Thief in the Night: a Bernie Rhodenbarr story
A Diet of Treacle
Community of Women
Different Strokes: How I (Gulp!) Wrote, Directed, and Starred in an X-rated Movie (John Warren Wells on Sexual Behavior)
You Don't Even Feel It (A Story From the Dark Side)
Zeroing In (Kit Tolliver #11) (The Kit Tolliver Stories)
The Wife-Swap Report (John Warren Wells on Sexual Behavior)
Keller's Fedora (Kindle Single)
Speaking of Lust
Everybody Dies (Matthew Scudder)
Defender of the Innocent: The Casebook of Martin Ehrengraf
After the First Death
Writing the Novel
How Far - a one-act stage play
Chip Harrison Scores Again
The Topless Tulip Caper ch-4
The Crime of Our Lives
Killing Castro
The Trouble with Eden
Nothing Short of Highway Robbery
Sin Hellcat
Getting Off: A Novel of Sex & Violence (Hard Case Crime)
Coward's Kiss
Alive in Shape and Color
Blow for Freedom
The New Sexual Underground: Crossing the Last Boundaries (John Warren Wells on Sexual Behavior Book 10)
April North
Lucky at Cards
One Night Stands; Lost weekends
Sweet Little Hands (A Story From the Dark Side)
Blood on Their Hands
A Dance at the Slaughterhouse
Headaches and Bad Dreams (A Story From the Dark Side)
Keller's Therapy
The Specialists
Hit and Run jk-4
Threesome
Love at a Tender Age (John Warren Wells on Sexual Behavior)
The Devil Knows You're Dead: A MATTHEW SCUDDER CRIME NOVEL
Funny You Should Ask
CH01 - No Score
Sex and the Stewardess (John Warren Wells on Sexual Behavior)
A Madwoman's Diary
When This Man Dies
Sinner Man
Such Men Are Dangerous
A Strange Kind of Love
Enough of Sorrow
69 Barrow Street
A Moment of Wrong Thinking (Matthew Scudder Mysteries Series Book 9)
Eight Million Ways to Die ms-5
Warm and Willing
Mona
In Sunlight or In Shadow
A Candle for the Bag Lady (Matthew Scudder Book 2)
Conjugal Rites (Kit Tolliver #7) (The Kit Tolliver Stories)
Speaking of Lust - the novella
Gigolo Johnny Wells
Dark City Lights
Versatile Ladies: the bisexual option (John Warren Wells on Sexual Behavior)
Passport to Peril
The Taboo Breakers: Shock Troops of the Sexual Revolution (John Warren Wells on Sexual Behavior)
Lucky at Cards hcc-28
Campus Tramp
3 is Not a Crowd (John Warren Wells on Sexual Behavior)
Manhattan Noir
The Burglar in the Library
Doing It! - Going Beyond the Sexual Revolution (John Warren Wells on Sexual Behavior Book 13)
So Willing
The Burglar Who Traded Ted Williams br-6
Candy
Sex Without Strings: A Handbook for Consenting Adults (John Warren Wells on Sexual Behavior)
The Devil Knows You're Dead: A MATTHEW SCUDDER CRIME NOVEL (Matthew Scudder Mysteries)
Manhattan Noir 2
The Scoreless Thai (aka Two For Tanner)