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“It would be one-sided. ”
“But you’d still want to pet it,” he said, “and stroke it behind the ears. ”
“So why did you call me? Old times’ sake?”
They’d had an affair, if you wanted to call it that, a dozen years ago, not long after her marriage came apart. They’d already known each other—her ex was an assistant district attorney whom Maury had befriended after excoriating him in court, and who had since crossed the aisle and set up as a defense attorney, and you could bet she’d never call him for free legal advice, the asshole.
He hadn’t taken her to L’Aiglon, but it had been something comparable, Le Cirque or La Côte Basque, something French and fancy, and over Drambuie he told her he kept an apartment in town, for when he had to stay over, and he’d like nothing better than to show it to her.
She’d said, “You’re married, right?”
“Absolutely!”
“Good,” she’d said. “Because you’re a very attractive man, Maury, and I’d love to spend a little quality time in your apartment, but I don’t want to get involved any more than you do. ”
“What I figured,” he said. “The fellow who introduced me to Drambuie told me you had to sip it and savor it and make it last, but you know what?” He tossed off his drink. “Turns out he was full of crap. Drink up, Susan. I’ve had a yen for you for the past hour. Well, longer than that, but you were married. C’mon, how long are you gonna keep an old man waiting?” Now, twelve years later, he said, “Why did I call you? For the pleasure of your company. And because it doesn’t hurt for the world to see me now and then with a woman of substance instead of an adorable airhead. A woman like that, she could be with anybody, and she’s with him? What’s he got?”
“What’s he got? He’s got an awfully good line. ”
“My stock-in-trade. This silver tongue has kept a lot of worthy young men out of prison. Of course”—he showed her the tip of it—“that’s not all it’s done. ”
She felt herself blushing. “Dirty old man. ”
“C’est moi, chérie. ”
“Speaking of prison . . . ”
“Oh, is that what we were speaking of?”
“I see they made an arrest in my friend’s murder. ”
“She showed you an apartment. It’s not like you were sorority sisters in Chi Zeta Chi. ”
“My acquaintance, if you like that better, but—”
“Now that was one joke you didn’t get. Chi Zeta Chi? In Yiddish that means Chew, Grandpa, chew. ”
“They arrested a writer. The name’s familiar, but I’ve never read anything of his. Blair Creighton?”
“John Blair Creighton, but he drops the John on his books. And that’s as much as we’re going to talk about him, or your late lamented real estate person. ” And, when she looked blank, he added, “Because I’m representing him, sweetie, and I can’t talk about the case. ”
“You’re representing him? But he . . . ”
“Killed somebody, except we don’t know that, do we? And that’s what I do, darling. People kill each other, and I represent the survivors. ”
W H E N T H E C O F F E E W A S poured, Irv Boasberg wondered aloud if anyone had dessert anymore. “My granddaughter turned down a piece of Shirley’s chocolate cake last week,” he said, “announcing that she had to watch her weight. A, she’s not fat to begin with, and B, she’s all of eleven years old. ”
“I don’t know what it is, society or the parents,” Avery Davis said. “If they’re not obese you find yourself worrying that they’re anorexic. Life doesn’t cut a person much slack nowadays, does it?
Fran, you could have dessert. I’ll bet you haven’t put on an ounce since you walked a beat. ”
“If he hasn’t,” Hartley Saft said, “maybe that’s why he hasn’t.
How’d you escape the cops-and-doughnuts syndrome, Fran?”
“Just dumb luck,” he said. “I never had a sweet tooth. ”
“That’s luck, all right,” Davis said. “I don’t have dessert because if I did I’d want six of them. Now there’s a man who’s not skipping dessert, and he looks as though sometimes he has the whole pie.
And, unless we’re supposed to believe that’s his niece, the pleasures of the table aren’t the only sort he enjoys. Do I know him?
Because he looks familiar. ”
“All fat men look alike,” Saft said, “but I know what you mean.
I don’t know him, but I’ve seen him before. ”
“Probably in restaurants,” Boasberg said.
“I think you’re right, Irving, and if it’s the man I’m thinking of he’s always got something young and fluffy across the table from him. As a matter of fact, they’re usually younger and fluffier than the current example. She looks as though she actually has a thought in her head from time to time. ”
“Less of a tootsie and more of a trophy wife,” Avery Davis suggested.
“His name’s Maury Winters,” Buckram told them. He’d spotted the lawyer when he first sat down, and would have said hello if he’d caught his eye. “He’s a criminal lawyer, a good one, and like most of them he’s something of a character. ”
“Of course,” Davis said. “I’ve seen him on television. He was on Larry King, along with three or four other experts, talking about that little girl in Colorado. You never had anything to do with the Boulder Police Department, did you, Fran?”
“I taught them everything they know. ”
They laughed. “He had one great line, Winters did. I think he must have used it before, because he sort of shoehorned it in. It didn’t particularly fit, but he wasn’t going to let that stop him. He prefers murder trials, and do you know why?”
“I know the line,” Buckram said, “and you’re right, he’s used it before. ”
“One less witness,” Davis said.
“That’s it. ” He took a sip of coffee. The others had ordered decaf, but his was the real deal. He told himself decaf never tasted right to him, but maybe that was only true if he knew it was decaf.
Maybe he just plain wanted the caffeine.
Either way, L’Aiglon d’Or’s coffee was delicious, a richly aro-matic French roast you could sip like a tawny port. He put his cup down and said, “Maury must be feeling good. Great food and attractive company, and he’s got a murderer to defend. ”
“Oh?”
“That writer, I forget his name. The one who strangled that woman in the Village. ”
“Crichton,” Boasberg said.
“That’s a different writer, but now I remember, and you’re close.
It’s Creighton. ”
“And you figure he did it?”
“I don’t know enough to have an opinion,” he said, “but they’ve evidently got enough to charge him. That doesn’t necessarily mean they’ve got enough to convict him, far from it, but it shows you they believe he did it, and they’re usually right. ”
“Anybody read anything he’s written?”
Nobody had.
“Well, now he’s got something new to write about,” Avery Davis said. “You ever think about writing a book yourself, Fran?”
“I’ve thought about it. ”
“And?”
“I’ve been approached a few times. ”
“I should think so. It’d sell a few copies. ”
“I don’t know, Avery. In this town, maybe, but would anybody out in Idaho give a rat’s ass? And what do I know about writing a book?”
“Would you have to write it yourself?”
“Oh, everybody was quick to tell me I’d never have to touch a keyboard or look at a computer screen. I’d work with a writer. ” He rolled his eyes. “God knows there’s enough of them in this town.
Of course most of them are loaded down with work. That’s why it’s standing room only every night in Stelli’s. ”
“There’s one I can think of who’s going to have some time on his hands,” Saft o
ffered. “Unless our fat friend over there gets him off the hook in a hurry. ”
“There you go. I’ll collaborate with the Charles Street Strangler.
Maybe that’ll get their attention in Pocatello. ” They laughed, and Boasberg said, “You could just tell some stories like the ones you told tonight. ”
“War stories? No, they’d expect more than that. Some personal history, the story behind the story, and how much of that does a man want to get into? Plus what what’s-his-name would call ‘the vision thing. ’ ”
He’d intended that as an opening, and they seized it as such; he caught Avery Davis shooting a glance at each of his companions before leaning forward and narrowing his eyes. “The vision thing,” he echoed. “You know, Fran, a lot of people are looking at you with more than the bestseller list in mind. I’m sure you’re happy living where you are, but I’d be surprised if you haven’t thought now and then of moving a few blocks uptown and closer to the river. ”
In other words, Gracie Mansion.
“And you’ve probably thought about some of the changes you’d like to implement if you found yourself living there. ” He considered this. “Be hard not to,” he acknowledged.
“Impossible, I should think. ”
“You pick up a paper or turn on New York One, you hear speculation. Not so much now, but a year or two ago, say. ”
“A lot of people thought you might take a shot at it last fall. ”
“The timing was wrong,” he said. “I’d have been running against Rudy, and he wouldn’t have been running, and you just look like you’re kicking a guy when he’s down, between the prostate cancer and the divorce. Of course that was before anyone knew he’d turn out to be a national hero, which made running against him completely impossible. ” He grinned. “So now they’re talking about 2005, and it’s way too early for that, but even so you have to think about it. Whether it’s what you want, and what you’d do if you got it. ”
“And?”
“And what do I see myself doing? Or at least championing?” He let the moment stretch, then looked off into the middle distance. “Landmark areas,” he said. “Every time an older building gets pulled down, a piece of the city’s history is lost forever. It’s vital that we protect what we’ve got by designating more landmark areas, and that doesn’t mean only the remote past, the obviously historical. What about the white-brick apartment buildings that went up in the sixties? They’re not building any more of them, and once they’re gone they’re gone forever. Fortunately there’s still time to save them. ”
“Landmark areas,” Hartley Saft said.
“Hand in hand with that,” he went on, “is rent control. A noble experiment, as I’m sure you’ll agree . . . ”

Tanner on Ice
Hit Me
Hit and Run
Hope to Die
Two For Tanner
Tanners Virgin
Dead Girl Blues
One Night Stands and Lost Weekends
A Drop of the Hard Stuff
The Canceled Czech
Even the Wicked
Me Tanner, You Jane
Quotidian Keller
Small Town
Tanners Tiger
A Walk Among the Tombstones
Tanners Twelve Swingers
Gym Rat & the Murder Club
Everybody Dies
The Thief Who Couldnt Sleep
Hit Parade
The Devil Knows Youre Dead
The Burglar in Short Order
A Long Line of Dead Men
Keller's Homecoming
Resume Speed
Keller's Adjustment
Eight Million Ways to Die
Time to Murder and Create
Out on the Cutting Edge
A Dance at the Slaughter House
In the Midst of Death
When the Sacred Ginmill Closes
You Could Call It Murder
Keller on the Spot
A Ticket to the Boneyard
A Time to Scatter Stones
Keller's Designated Hitter
A Stab in the Dark
Sins of the Fathers
The Burglar in the Closet
Burglar Who Dropped In On Elvis
The Burglar Who Painted Like Mondrian
The Girl With the Long Green Heart
The Burglar Who Counted the Spoons (Bernie Rhodenbarr)
Burglar Who Smelled Smoke
Rude Awakening (Kit Tolliver #2) (The Kit Tolliver Stories)
Don't Get in the Car (Kit Tolliver #9) (The Kit Tolliver Stories)
CH04 - The Topless Tulip Caper
You Can Call Me Lucky (Kit Tolliver #3) (The Kit Tolliver Stories)
CH02 - Chip Harrison Scores Again
Strangers on a Handball Court
Cleveland in My Dreams
Clean Slate (Kit Tolliver #4) (The Kit Tolliver Stories)
The Burglar Who Traded Ted Williams
Burglar on the Prowl
In For a Penny (A Story From the Dark Side)
Catch and Release Paperback
Ride A White Horse
No Score
Looking for David (A Matthew Scudder Story Book 7)
Jilling (Kit Tolliver #6) (The Kit Tolliver Stories)
Ariel
Enough Rope
Grifter's Game
Canceled Czech
Unfinished Business (Kit Tolliver #12) (The Kit Tolliver Stories)
Thirty
The Burglar Who Thought He Was Bogart
Make Out with Murder
One Last Night at Grogan's (A Matthew Scudder Story Book 11)
The Burglar on the Prowl
Welcome to the Real World (A Story From the Dark Side)
Keller 05 - Hit Me
Walk Among the Tombstones: A Matthew Scudder Crime Novel
Ronald Rabbit Is a Dirty Old Man
The Burglar Who Studied Spinoza
The Burglar Who Liked to Quote Kipling
Keller in Des Moines
Hit List
The Dettweiler Solution
HCC 115 - Borderline
A Drop of the Hard Stuff: A Matthew Scudder Novel
Step by Step
The Girl With the Deep Blue Eyes
If You Can't Stand the Heat (Kit Tolliver #1) (The Kit Tolliver Stories)
The Topless Tulip Caper
Dolly's Trash & Treasures (A Story From the Dark Side)
The Triumph of Evil
Fun with Brady and Angelica (Kit Tolliver #10 (The Kit Tolliver Stories)
Burglars Can't Be Choosers
Who Knows Where It Goes (A Story From the Dark Side)
Deadly Honeymoon
Like a Bone in the Throat (A Story From the Dark Side)
A Chance to Get Even (A Story From the Dark Side)
The Boy Who Disappeared Clouds
Collecting Ackermans
Waitress Wanted (Kit Tolliver #5) (The Kit Tolliver Stories)
One Thousand Dollars a Word
Even the Wicked: A Matthew Scudder Novel (Matthew Scudder Mysteries)
Hit Man
The Night and The Music
Ehrengraf for the Defense
The Merciful Angel of Death (A Matthew Scudder Story Book 5)
The Burglar in the Rye
I Know How to Pick 'Em
Getting Off hcc-69
Three in the Side Pocket (A Story From the Dark Side)
Let's Get Lost (A Matthew Scudder Story Book 8)
Strange Are the Ways of Love
MOSTLY MURDER: Till Death: a mystery anthology
Masters of Noir: Volume Four
A Week as Andrea Benstock
Scenarios (A Stoiry From the Dark Side)
The Sex Therapists: What They Can Do and How They Do It (John Warren Wells on Sexual Behavior Book 15)
Like a Thief in the Night: a Bernie Rhodenbarr story
A Diet of Treacle
Community of Women
Different Strokes: How I (Gulp!) Wrote, Directed, and Starred in an X-rated Movie (John Warren Wells on Sexual Behavior)
You Don't Even Feel It (A Story From the Dark Side)
Zeroing In (Kit Tolliver #11) (The Kit Tolliver Stories)
The Wife-Swap Report (John Warren Wells on Sexual Behavior)
Keller's Fedora (Kindle Single)
Speaking of Lust
Everybody Dies (Matthew Scudder)
Defender of the Innocent: The Casebook of Martin Ehrengraf
After the First Death
Writing the Novel
How Far - a one-act stage play
Chip Harrison Scores Again
The Topless Tulip Caper ch-4
The Crime of Our Lives
Killing Castro
The Trouble with Eden
Nothing Short of Highway Robbery
Sin Hellcat
Getting Off: A Novel of Sex & Violence (Hard Case Crime)
Coward's Kiss
Alive in Shape and Color
Blow for Freedom
The New Sexual Underground: Crossing the Last Boundaries (John Warren Wells on Sexual Behavior Book 10)
April North
Lucky at Cards
One Night Stands; Lost weekends
Sweet Little Hands (A Story From the Dark Side)
Blood on Their Hands
A Dance at the Slaughterhouse
Headaches and Bad Dreams (A Story From the Dark Side)
Keller's Therapy
The Specialists
Hit and Run jk-4
Threesome
Love at a Tender Age (John Warren Wells on Sexual Behavior)
The Devil Knows You're Dead: A MATTHEW SCUDDER CRIME NOVEL
Funny You Should Ask
CH01 - No Score
Sex and the Stewardess (John Warren Wells on Sexual Behavior)
A Madwoman's Diary
When This Man Dies
Sinner Man
Such Men Are Dangerous
A Strange Kind of Love
Enough of Sorrow
69 Barrow Street
A Moment of Wrong Thinking (Matthew Scudder Mysteries Series Book 9)
Eight Million Ways to Die ms-5
Warm and Willing
Mona
In Sunlight or In Shadow
A Candle for the Bag Lady (Matthew Scudder Book 2)
Conjugal Rites (Kit Tolliver #7) (The Kit Tolliver Stories)
Speaking of Lust - the novella
Gigolo Johnny Wells
Dark City Lights
Versatile Ladies: the bisexual option (John Warren Wells on Sexual Behavior)
Passport to Peril
The Taboo Breakers: Shock Troops of the Sexual Revolution (John Warren Wells on Sexual Behavior)
Lucky at Cards hcc-28
Campus Tramp
3 is Not a Crowd (John Warren Wells on Sexual Behavior)
Manhattan Noir
The Burglar in the Library
Doing It! - Going Beyond the Sexual Revolution (John Warren Wells on Sexual Behavior Book 13)
So Willing
The Burglar Who Traded Ted Williams br-6
Candy
Sex Without Strings: A Handbook for Consenting Adults (John Warren Wells on Sexual Behavior)
The Devil Knows You're Dead: A MATTHEW SCUDDER CRIME NOVEL (Matthew Scudder Mysteries)
Manhattan Noir 2
The Scoreless Thai (aka Two For Tanner)